Everything Yoga

On the Bookshelf

As the weather gets warmer, my thoughts turn to outdoor activity. Just yesterday, I took my meditation practice outside and enjoyed feeling the breeze on my skin as I sat in stillness. It won't be long before my yoga mat follows. And with this view, it's no wonder that I'm taking my yoga practice outside (which not only enables me to practice in nature but also gives me a healthy dose of Vitamin D).

I'm also taking my reading outside these days. There's nothing like sitting on a chaise lounge reading a good book (I certainly logged some chaise lounge time this holiday weekend). Here's what's captured my attention as of late:

Living Fully: Finding Joy in Every Breath
by Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche
Yes, usually I read books the traditional way -- I start on the first page and read to the end. I suppose that's why it tickles me to read a book like Living Fully, for it invites me to flip through randomly, finding the topic that inspires me in the moment. 

This delightful read is filled with practical tips for finding joy in everyday life. Rinpoche, one of the world's only English-speaking Tibetan lamas says, "Our lives will not be truly satisfying if we cannot live each moment deliberately and grasp the essence of our precious human nature." If you enjoy Buddhist philosophy and tradition, or if you just want to squeeze every drop of juice from life, you'll enjoy this book. Rinpoche covers modern topics such as work, materialism, happiness, social media, beauty products and cosmetic surgery, and sex. 

I'm working my way through this book in a joyfully haphazard way (see, the book is working -- I'm finding joy in reading a book the non-traditional way) -- I simply flip through the contents and pick a topic that resonates with me. It's the perfect book from which to read from daily. 

Yoga Cures: Simple Routines to Conquer More Than 50 Common Ailments and Live Pain-Free
by Tara Stiles
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not a Tara Stiles fan. Still, I like to stay current on what's happening in the wide world of yoga, so I explore with an open mind. I'm mixed on this book -- I tend to frown upon quick fixes and this idea of one-size-fits all prescriptive yoga and yet a book like this is often easily accessible to anyone curious about yoga. The book starts out with some yoga basics and then moves into yoga "cures" (ick -- I hate using this work in regards to yoga, but the marketing machine will do as it must), offering up short routines for the following:

• Aches and pains
• Acne
• ADD/ADHD
• Allergies
• Anxiety
• Arthritis
• Bingeing
• Blurred Vision
• Broken Heart
• Bulging Belly
• Cellulite
• Chill the *&@# Out
• Cold Repair
• Couch-stination
• Depression
• Diabetes
• Droopy Shoulders
• Exhaustion
• Fear Factor
• Fibromyalgia
• Flu
• Foot Cramps
• Hangover
• High Blood Pressure
• Hot Flashes
• Jiggly Thighs
• Killer Car Rides
• Lack of Self-Esteem
• Laziness
• Migraine
• Monkey Mind
• Office Body
• Office Mind
• Overweight/Obesity
• Party Pooper
• PMS and Cramps
• Pregnancy Discomfort
• Procrastination
• Runners' Aches
• Saggy Booty
• Saggy Pecs
• Scattered Mind
• Shin Splints
• Sugar Cravings
• Tension
• Thyroid Imbalance
• Traveler's Anxiety
• Tummy Trouble
• Under-Eye Bags and Dark Circles
• Vertigo
• Wrinkles
• ZZZZs (Getting Some)

The final part of the book covers tips and routines for deisign your own at home yoga retreats.

Overall the book is...fine. The routines are solid, even though I don't quite agree with the whole quick-fix tone of the book. I also don't care for the publicity strategy (that is, of course, quite common) that features cover quotes from "big names" like Deepak Chopra and Jane Fonda. Again, this just isn't my thing. Still, the book offers up some decent yoga and breaks it down into edible chunks. There's also a yoga post library at the end that offers instruction for each pose featured in the book, which can be quite helpful to the yoga beginner. 

Yawning Yoga: A Goodnight Book for a Good Night's Sleep
by Laurie Jordan
This is a children's book, but I would recommend it for any adult. Heck, I loved this book and I'm 40 years old. The illustrations are delightful and the practice recommended is perfect for bringing the day to a close and welcoming peaceful slumber. If I had children, I would use the nightly routine to put them to bed. As I said before -- I would also recommend it to an adult who wanted to wind down for bed. I love this book!

Yoga Skills for Therapists: Effective Practices for Mood Management
by Amy Weintraub
Don't let the title fool you -- you don't have to be a Yoga Therapist to use this book. This useful book starts off with some basic information on yoga and then moves into pranayama, sound, imagery and intention, yoga nidra and self-inquiry. It offers up a well-rounded practice to keep one calm and peaceful. Personally, I find this book to be much more helpful than Stiles' book and I feel it offers tools that can be used to affect a person on a deeper level -- after all, there's more to life than fixing "jiggly thighs." 

This book is clear, easy to understand and follow, and it also offers helpful pictures for the visual learners out there. No, this isn't a book of asanas -- it's much more than that. And if you're seeking freedom from anxiety and/or mood disorders, I highly recommend this book.

And here are a few more books that are front and center on my Kindle these days:

The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide: How to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life

Tantra Yoga Secrets: Eighteen Transformational Lessons to Serenity, Radiance, and Bliss

Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

Beauty Pure and Simple: The Ayurvedic Approach to Beautiful Skin

Creating Time: Using Creativity to Reinvent the Clock and Reclaim Your Life

Enough Already: The Power of Radical Contentment

Happy reading! And may your chaise lounge time be enjoyable and relaxing with a little helpful information thrown in.

Namaste!

 

 

 

 

Excuses, Excuses

I hear these things all the time in regards to a starting/maintaining a regular yoga (or meditation) practice (yes, I've even used some of these myself):

• I just don't have time...
• I'd like to but...
• I'm not _______ enough...
• I'm already doing X, Y, and Z...
• I wish I could...
• Some of us have to work/be a parent/be a partner/be a friend...

I could go on and on, and I'm sure you've got your own to add to this list. What is this a list of, exactly? Excuses? Reasons? Get out of jail free cards? Lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better? 

And in the spirit of "how you do one thing is how you do everything," if you're using reasons/excuses/beliefs like these to get off the hook for practicing yoga, then you're using them in other areas of your life. I'm not saying that there aren't certain circumstances that can be consuming -- parenting a child with disabilities or taking care of an aging/dying parent, etc. -- but do the excuses really hold?

I know plenty of people who are in constant reaction mode -- they deal with what's thrust in front of them, consumed by who yells the loudest (the squeaky wheel gets the grease), always reacting, never acting. Time seems to slip away from them, making them feel like they have no control over the trajectory of their lives. They feel rushed, disconnected, frazzled. The saddest part -- these folks are largely unhappy. It's like they're not living but merely existing and distracting themselves by always being busy.

Yoga calls for going inside. It calls for undisturbed time away from demands, squeaky wheels, technology. Some try to cram it in and rush through their practice as though it is another task on a long and ever-growing list. Love and relationship call for the same thing. Hell, LIFE calls for the same thing. 

A few months ago, I found myself in the trap of unconsciousness. It was amazing all of the things I could find time for -- and none of those things were important. I was trying to wrest satisfaction from people, places, and things (thank you for this nugget, Nicole Daedone), knowing that this is futile but trying anyway. I felt like I was living in a haze, never really feeling like I was doing what was important to me. And, more importantly, I wasn't being who I wanted to be.

That's when I turned it off and got impeccable with my time and effort. I turned off the running excuse list, I silenced the voice inside my head tempting me with the unimportant, and I got real clear on how I wanted to spend my time and with whom. I expanded my yoga practice and I established (for the first time in a long time) a daily meditation practice. From this quiet place, I realized that all of those excuses were just that -- excuses, lies, my ego placating my mind, illusion.

The past few months I've found myself surrounded by folks saying variations of something on the list above. It was interesting to me how annoyed I became by these people, seemingly not walking their talk. This annoyance was my first clue that I was doing the same thing. Now I ask myself what's really behind my excuses. This last month I've packed in an enormous amount of experiences into a tight schedule. Somehow it all got done. My yoga and meditation practices didn't suffer although my inbox was probably neglected. 

More importantly, I was happier, less distracted, more present for said experiences (and it felt good to not have to say these excuses out loud to others knowing in my heart that they were cop outs). So I leave you with this video: 

 

 

If this man ran the list of excuses above through his head again and again, the video wouldn't have ended the way it did. 

Namaste!

 

Karmic Gifts

"Karma karma karma karma, karma chameleon
You come and go, you come and go."
        --Culture Club (yes, I am a child of the 80s as well as a yoga practitioner)

Karma is a rather popular subject these days, as it's made its way to bumper stickers and inspirational photo posts on Facebook. What is Karma? Is it cause and effect? Or, in regards to yoga, is it selfless service (which is puzzling if Karma implies cause and effect because the action wouldn't quite be selfless, as a certain outcome -- good Karma or getting what you give -- would be desired)? Many say that Karma is a bitch. I prefer to think of Karma as a teacher. 

Recently I was participating in a discussion in which the person speaking gave Karma a more punitive spin. He had done something "bad," therefore what came back to him was "bad." It's the ole payback scenario. Which takes us back to Karma being a "bitch." I disagree. Perhaps it's the same outlook that makes me a bad Catholic -- I'm not a fan of original sin -- but I look at Karma as a teacher that offers us an opportunity to be a better person. 

This has shown up for me in many ways over the past few months. It's true confession time: In the past, I've blamed others in relationship rather than see it for what it is -- a mirror for my actions. It's easy to point the finger at someone else rather than shine the light on yourself and actually see what you do/how you are being in relationship. These days I'm endeavoring to take more responsibility, which has required a heavy does of honesty on my part. This has become my yoga pratice -- tell the truth, admit to the fact that what's showing up is a direct reflection of how I'm showing up, take responsibility for my life and relationships.

Lucky for me, I've been staring at a mirror for the past few months (figuratively). I've been on the receiving end of what I would consider less than stellar treatment in a relationship, which not only hurt me, but left me frustrated and angry. A person who I had considered trustworthy proved to be anything but. There was a big contradiction between words and action, and rather than meet things head-on and talk things out to clear up any misconceptions, the other person shut down and went into avoidance mode. In what felt like a blinding flash of clarity I really saw this person -- and I understood why his life had unfolded the way it had.

And I got a huge lesson myself, for I've operated in the exact same way. Yes, I'm still hurt by this person's actions, but more importantly, I realized that it's all too easy to point the self-righteous finger and say, "You're the bad one here." Blame -- oooohhh, that's a big one. Placing the blame on the other person gives you the excuse to come out looking squeaky clean in the situation. Unfortunately, while it may get you off the hook temporarily, it actually causes future suffering beacause you repeat the behavior and relive the same situation over and over again. Ironically, while part of me was pointing my figure indignantly at the other person, my ego resisted judging this person because if I allowed myself to deem this person "bad" then what does that say about me, for I picked someone who mirrors me? Judging person as bad=I'm bad too. Ouch.

Eek. Not a pretty situation. It sure was an enlightening one, though. With a little help from Karma, I got to shine a light on how I am in relationship (which was scarier than my skydive last week, for it can be harder to admit to one's murky dark side than it is to jump out of a plane at 13,500 feet). Rather than keep denying it and continuing to choose relationships (and I'm not just talking about romantic ones) from this place, I'm now free to have relationships that are deeper and more fulfilling -- and feel a heck of a lot better to be in (for both myself and the other person). 

So for me, Karma has been a journey to knowing better/awareness leading to doing better/acting more consciously, which ultimately leads to being better/being more conscious. Bitch doesn't enter the equation.

Granted, this doesn't get the other person off the hook -- his actions were hurtful at best and deceitful at worst -- but it does make me more compassionate (been there, done that, not doing it anymore) and it's not my place to teach someone else a lesson. It would seem that Karma takes care of that all by itself.

When I find myself wanting to oh-so-helpfully point out the fact that this behavior has gotten this person bad results in the past and has resulted in many relationships gone sour, I smile at the deflection tactic, for I know that it's a sign for me to take a look at how MY behavior has resulted in poor relationships in my past. 

In the past few months, I've been accused -- by two different people -- of behavior that I didn't engage in. I got all indignant about it, blaming the ones accusing me of the behavior ("They're just insecure." "They don't trust me and that's their problem." blah, blah, blah) before I stopped and wondered why they would accuse me of something that I didn't do? Did my current behavior imply that I was being dishonest or sneaky? Have I been dishonest or sneaky in the past? Asking those questions of myself got me some hard answers and has made me more cognizant about how my behavior could be miscontrued. 

Yes, when the student is ready, the teacher does appear. For that I am grateful. Now I have a clearer vision not just of what I want in relationship, but more importantly, who I want to be in relationship. That's not a bitch -- it's a boon.

Here's to Karmic gifts, valuable lessons, and a whole lotta truth-telling!

Namaste!

 

 

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

This has been an exciting week for me -- first Skydiving (Freefallasana with a mantra of wheeeeeeeeeee) and then a day at the spa. I guess it makes sense to follow exhilaration with relaxation. In addition to doing a whole heck of a lot of relaxing (and napping in the "Relaxation Room") at the spa, I also did a little thinking.

After a soak in the Roman Bath and then 20 minutes in the sauna, I headed to the shower to cool off. A woman was exiting her shower stall at the same time I was walking into the shower area. Directly across from the shower stalls are mirrored cubbies. The woman exiting the stall practically walked right into me, as her eyes were locked on her reflection in the mirror opposite her. I'm not sure if she even realized I was there, her attention so focused on her reflection.

Then there's the whole Sauna/Steam Room/Roman Bath scene...some women go in au naturel (that would be me) while others go in covered by a bathing suit or towel. Again, eye contact was severely limited because everyone seemed to be focused on everything below the neck. 

Hmmmm...what's with the preoccupation with everyone's body?

I know, I know -- the media, airbrushing, etc. Still, I was a bit taken aback by the external focus. 

Which brings me to Yoga class. I know folks like to practice in front of mirrors for alignment purposes, but UCK -- I hate practicing in a studio with mirrors. Again, it draws the attention to the external. Of course if there are no mirrors, there's always the option to check out your fellow practitioners on their nearby mats for external stimulation. 

What are we looking for? Are we looking in judgment or comparison, or are we looking in love? Why are we looking?

I've been asking myself questions like these lately, as I've been evaluating how I spend my time. I realize that I live in 2012, but my focus is too external for my taste (and my emotional health). Yes, I gave up my TV about 5 months ago, but I find myself on the Internet a bit too much. I constantly remind myself -- more sitting, less Web surfing. When my focus is too external, my internal goes a bit wonky. I'm slower to acknowledge (or even recognize) my feelings; I'm out of touch with my desires; I'm a bit more scattered; I'm a little less happy, as I end up spending less time on/with the things/people that I value. The more time I spend tapped into my internal world, the more attuned I am to myself and others.

I have a friend (actually I have a few friends like this, so consider this a combination of many people into one) who runs from one thing to another. This person's life is a cycle of work, volunteer work, social obligations, and errands. A mutual friend of ours commented on this person's seeming hamster wheel of a life and asked: "What makes her run? What's she running from?" Emails and phone messages go unanswered as she runs from one thing to the next. I thought she was happy with her lifestyle, as she's made certain choices in order to have it, yet one day her frustration boiled over and she exclaimed, "When do I get what I want to do? Hell, I don't even know what I want!"

Perhaps she needs a little internal focus to balance our her extreme external focus?

Some years back when I was getting my Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy certification, I found myself flummoxed by my sessions with one particular practice partner. Every time we got together to do a session, he expressed excitment over how much he enjoyed the work we did together. And yet every time we did a session, he fell asleep. The first time it happened, I figured he was tired (ironically, he too, had a packed schedule). The second time it happened, I wrote it off to yet again to lack of sleep. By our third session, I brought it to my mentor. She responded to my query by saying that often people use sleep to avoid something. In this case, the yoga therapy sessions my partner and I were engaging in brought up a lot of emotional stuff for him. Perhaps he was sleeping in order to avoid what came up during a session?

It's very similar to external focus -- it's a way for us to distract ourselves from what's going on inside. In essence, we are sleeping because we are ignoring what's inside and instead, focusing on the amusements outside. 

Monday's skydiving experience was captured on film (for posterity and bragging rights, I suppose). Often people ham it up for the videographer -- there are a lot of funny faces and hand gestures. I, on the other hand, was totally oblivious. I only looked at the camera only when it was literally in my face. I was too focused on the amazing experience of freefalling out of a plane, seeing the view, feeling the cold air against my skin, hearing the loud sound of falling out of the sky in my ears. My focus was totally locked into sensory mode and I was soaking in the whole experience, the videographer forgotten. I suppose you could say I was much like that woman in the spa -- I was enraptured. Except I was enraptured by the experience, not by the static going on around me.

Try as I might, I don't always live my life that way. I, too, get distracted by it all. Let's face it, there's a lot to be distracted by. And there are always those folks who pshaw the whole thing: "What, are you going to move to a cave and meditate all day? That's not real life! And all of that contemplating your navel makes you a bit selfish, don't you think?" Funny, I find that when I don't do my so-called navel gazing, I'm a lot less in tune with the folks around me. I'm too distracted to notice subtle emotional cues and the like.

It sort of reminds me of sharing a tea/lunch/dinner and conversation with a friend who is more focused on what's going on around her than on our interaction. It's a bit disconcerting when you find someone's attention wandering to his cell phone or his eyes darting back and forth taking in the social scene around us rather than our conversation. Being on the receiving end of this a time or two myself, I endeavor to be careful about where my focus is when I'm out with someone.

Where's your focus? Are you focused "out there" because you want to avoid what's inside or because you don't know any better or because you're simply sloppy?

They say happiness is an inside job. I'm inclined to agree. Of course if you never go inside...(you finish the rest)

Namaste!

 

Living the Question

Mock me if you must, but I used to watch Friends (and loved it) all the time (you gotta love reruns). One funny scene always stuck out in my mind -- two of the romanically coupled friends are having a bit of a heated -- but humorous -- exchange and one refers to the other as The Riddler for asking so many questions. These days I'm questioning myself quite a bit. Holy Q&A, Batman!

As my friends and I turn 40, I'm noticing that my reaction to "the big four-oh" is quite different than that of my peers. I'm feeling joyful and excited to be in this new decade (and obviously proud of it, since I'm announcing my age in so public a forum). And I'm using it as an opportunity to do a little inventory. That's where the questions come in. Why am I the way I am?

We've all been in yoga class going through the motions without much thought to what we were doing. Muscle memory takes over while we're thinking about what we're going to eat for the next meal, running through our to do list, and worrying about what we're going to do after yoga practice. We don't ask ourselves, am I here? If not, why am I not here?

I don't buy the whole "can't teach an old dog new tricks" mentality. I think you can't teach an unconscious dog new tricks. These days I'm using my Riddler skills to question why I am the way that I am in the world. I'm questioning everything and finding that I've got a lot of habits, fictional stories, and old programming in my head. I'm blessed in that my time on the mat and the meditation cushion has enabled me to have glimpses of witness consciousness every now and again. I'll often have a moment when I actually watch myself do or say something  and it feels like I'm an anthropologist watching some obscure tribe function in daily life. I get curious about my behavior (often I'm either amused or horrified by it).

The fun in living the questions is that you realize that you can be another way in the world if you so desire. There's always a choice. We make choices every day. In fact, we make dozens, if not more choices a day. Sometimes our choices are like the yoga practice I mentioned above -- on autopilot. We choose things and people and ways of being that are familiar and comfortable to us -- even if those choices don't make us feel good. 

Recently, I realized that I was choosing something not because I wanted it but because I had some ancient story in my head about why it was "the right" choice. You'd think the bad feelings I had around it would have tipped me off, but...When I asked myself why I was doing it and if this choice was allowing me to be the person that I want to be in the world, the answer was a clear "make a different choice."

Today as I was out and about, I saw this bumper sticker:

Now there's a question -- what would Gandhi do? If you're trying to be a more peaceful person, perhaps that's the question to live. If you're wanting to be a devoted practioner of yoga, perhaps the question is -- what would a conscious yogi who believed his/her practice to be sacred do?

There's an unlimited number of questions. You only need to ask. 

And if you feel like you're spinning a bit out of control, check out this wonderful quiz to determine what your Emotional Body Type is where you're acting from. As they say, knowledge is power. 

Namaste!